Coping with COVID

“Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh

 

It’s my eleventh week in a lock-down life, which means that I’ve spent most of 2020 in a weird limbo situation and my experiences and thoughts on the world, on you and I and COVID-19 have honestly, been through a lot. My eleventh week means that I’m pretty experienced. I’ve seen it all. From my last blog in China to today in the UK, I have a lot to compare and talk about, but actually, I’ve mostly pretty over it all. Our information is SO toxic and so many people around me are struggling to deal with the situation, so I just want to share and help using what I know and what I’ve been doing. For eleven weeks. ELEVEN WEEKS. You’ll go through stages, a buzz and hope, maybe anger, boredom and grief, then more of a content stage, which is where I’m at! I hope this brings you all some positivity and hope.

THE MEDIA IS POOP

I’m gonna start a little rough but I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve learned and how much I hate about western media and our toxic relationship with it all. Stop watching the news, stop sharing stuff over WhatsApp and your IG stories, and don’t take in too much of the ‘well my sister knows someone who lives next to someone who saw 5G and bat soup walk into a bar together….’, it will not make you or anyone else feel better. Every day is different and changing and no-one knows it all right now, not even the experts. And it’s on steroids. Don’t believe it, don’t share it and don’t spread it.

From me to you:

  1. If you want to keep updated, try WHO and the government websites, both of which will change and can’t fully predict it all either, but they’re the important ones.
  2. Remove news channels and apps so you’re controlling the amount you see and share yourself. I don’t even recommend watching the BBC news but that’s me.
  3. If you are curious and feel passionate enough to share something to the hundreds on your social media world, then check the facts of it first. Is it reliable? Is it in context? Is it real? Is it important?
  4. Find other things happening in the world today. There’s lots going on that we’re not hearing about anymore (links below), and there’s lots of ways to make a positive difference and positive news even with COVID. 

Do your best

Since the virus has reached the western world, I’ve seen so much more pressure and shame on how to live through this. Super toxic and annoying. Every day, every person and every country are different and there’s no right or wrong way when dealing with something unexpected and inexperienced. Start a new project and be happy one day, spend the day in bed and cry into your chocolate bar the next. Who bloody cares? Do what you need to do to feel good and to manage.

From me to you:

  1. Try to have some balance. I need days where I switch off and binge Netflix in my pjs alone but if I did that every day, then I’d be super depressed. Try to be proactive and do something you love away from the screen to kill time, bring some happiness and a sense of achievement. Balance bbz.
  2. Don’t compare your time to others and remove anything that makes you feel bad. Social media is just a snippet, it’s not all real. And it can be a source of inspiration, but when your fave travel girl from Bali is posting her lock-down pics in her bikini and her villa, it doesn’t hit the same. Life is different and limited right now, say ‘see you soon’ and mute that.
  3. Do try new things. You don’t need to fill every minute with tasks and hobbies, but this time is rare. Some of us have never had so long at home to ourselves so don’t be scared to try new things, no matter who you are or what you’re used to. Links for inspo at the bottom and will be on my IG.

 

Stay healthy

It’s so easy to fall into bad habits when you’re out of routine and stuck at home. And I’m no angel, but I think it’s about balance and making small additions to be good to your body and mind, especially right now. I honestly hate exercise, but it always makes me feel better and after so long at home, you do notice the bad side effects like neck and back pain… trust me. Even your food intake will affect your mood. I balance the below with things I love. A coffee to wake me up, wine some evenings, naughty food at the weekend and some chocolate every day.

From me to you:

  1. Every day I try to have apple cider vinegar mixed with honey and warm water, a vitamin C, garlic extract and zinc tablet, a heap of natural yoghurt with live bio cultures, plenty of water, sometimes turmeric and warm coconut milk then usually a load of veggies. I don’t enjoy it all but I’m sure my body loves me for it.
  2. Do a workout on YouTube, walk around your garden or do some yoga. I usually like dancing, martial arts and Pilates. And every now and then, stick on some loud music and dance around the room. Immediate happiness and health. Links at the bottom.
  3. Have a bit of a routine. Doing things like showering, putting on make up and doing your nails seems silly when you’re not leaving the house, but it’ll make you feel better most days. Self-care my people, practice that shizz.
  4. Remember that everything you take in, mentally and physically will influence you. A few weeks ago, I read ‘The tattooist of Auschwitz’ and the sequel book, which I loved but maaaan were they dark. Read, watch, do and listen to things that will give you a lift, not a downer. Links at the bottom but please bring me suggestions too!

GO WITH THE FLOW

Lives will change, jobs will change, things will change and lots of it sucks, but it’s happening. To think about the future for some people is scary and uncertain, but it’s not helpful to anyone right now, including yourself. It’s hard but we’re literally all in this together. You’re not alone. And out of all the conspiracies and nonsense, my favourite theory is that this time has come to teach us all what’s really important in life, to take a pause away from our destructiveness and let the world and its people heal, together. Nothing is forever, we can’t control it all and having a ‘whatever happens happens’ attitude doesn’t mean you don’t care, just that you have hope and trust life.

From me to you:

  1. Have hope amongst the uncertainty that new information, happiness and support will come as life goes on. It’s okay to grieve and feel sad but we must have more hope. Live in the present with patience and do what you can today. Imagine how good life and all those little things will feel again soon!
  2. I make a rough plan to try and stay productive, but it changes all the time. Take each day as it comes and don’t try to control anything but make a no pressure plan to keep you excited about things and to give purpose.
  3. Meditate and breathe. I use a tonne of apps (links below) to help me sleep and be calm. My sleep is super messed up right now but again, I try not to feel bad about it. Go easy on yourself.

Count your blessings and be kind always.

Like I said earlier, so many of us have never and might never experience such a time like this again, and though it’s hard, we’re so lucky still. Please don’t feel guilty, just take in with full gratitude and realise how amazingly blessed most of us are. These are the worst of our times, yet the sun is shining, most of us are safe in our nice homes, we have an abundance of food, clean and safe water, electricity, WIFI, working from home or government security, home entertainment, the amazing NHS in the UK and most of us are loved by someone, boy I could go on.

From me to you;

  1. Sadly, many people’s time on earth will come to an end, and the whole world will hurt together. Show more love to those around you today and every day, make phone calls, text people, and give love to yourself. Each day we wake is a blessing.
  2. This awful time has connected us all, yet I still see so much hurt and racism. Call out or report abuse or anyone trying to incite hate and harm. We’re all fighting the same battle, and so many have it unimaginably worse, so practice and create more kindness for all. Fight for the good and lift those hurting.
  3. Now is the time to be better for humanity, to create a better world for us all to go back to and to appreciate all that we have. Let’s practice kindness, patience, gratitude, community, hope, strength and positivity. Let’s create change and learn something from this.
  4. Donate to local food banks, get involved with online quizzes, shop locally, have online mate dates, check in on your neighbours, help charities suffering and all the rest of it. There are so many ways to give back (you don’t have to do them all!) and it will bring you and many others joy. I’ve listed some charities below and causes that I know are especially suffering now.

Wear a mask if you can. Clean your hands regularly and properly. Contact the recommended if you’re feeling the symptoms. Please get in touch with me if you need any tutorials, links, advice , if you can send more recommendations for things or if you just need a little chat.

Stay indoors. Stay sane. Have hope. Look after each other and be kind always.

 

Sending peace and love to you,

Vanisha

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Follow my Instagram at @vanishamay

Art

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcR1TUaD8Zn6P6O8hOA-xYA

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPRuDp5qn2_Q41sE-bfP4uA/videos

https://www.instagram.com/koketit/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMJyHCbGKnUhpuPP0jsZV-w

https://www.instagram.com/kristythepainter/

https://www.instagram.com/gisellefenig/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChtwlKDPqmumk_J0tGUVu7A

Mind, Body and Soul

https://breethe.com/

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/sleep/id1447478883

https://www.calm.com/

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/slumber-fall-asleep-insomnia/id1109543953

https://www.youtube.com/user/popsugartvfit

https://www.todaysthebestday.com/50-things-to-do-for-yourself-during-a-quarantine-coronavirus/

Watch, Read, Listen and Do

https://www.netflix.com/title/80017537

https://www.netflix.com/title/81115994

https://www.netflix.com/title/80160037

https://healthyhappyimpactful.com/how-start-journal/

https://www.happify.com/hd/8-podcasts-that-will-give-you-a-happiness-boost/

https://www.happify.com/public/happify-daily/

https://relaxily.tumblr.com/post/614939036671492096/things-to-do-during-quarantine

Community

https://www.trusselltrust.org/what-we-do/

https://www.facebook.com/MisionMexicoChildren/

https://helprefugees.org/

https://www.crisis.org.uk/

https://www.shelter.org.uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

The freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247

The Respect phone line 0808 8024040 is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm

 

Travelling my new favourite country; Myanmar

Myanmar is the biggest country in South East Asia yet remains pretty mysterious. And I always do research before I travel, you know, what to see, where to visit etc., but Myanmar’s travel tips were either super outdated or scarce, zzz…

… which is why I had no idea what to expect for my 10-day trip.

However, Myanmar is now one of my most favourite countries and the trip was incredible! I loved every single day. Travelling around is cheap and relatively safe, the food was amazing, and the people were genuinely the nicest I’ve ever met. They’re truly beautiful inside and out.

Explore the city of Yangon

My trip started on a Monday when most of the museums and markets are closed in the country’s biggest city, not so cool. So, I spent a few hours just riding the Yangon Circular Railroad and it was really cool. Hanging off the side, surrounded by locals, being in the middle of their daily routines and seeing the slums built around the railway, really gave a look into life for many in Myanmar. Though, there are museums and things to do, I’d definitely recommend a few hours on the train.

For food, I wondered around and found the Muslim Quarters and “Little India”. The streets are filled with people sitting outside and cables hang high above your heads. I ate some amazing indian fusion food and walked to the nearby Shwedagon Pagoda.

  • Start from Yangon Central Railroad with a ticket for just 300kyats (£0.15) super cheap! At the top of the line, you can visit the market and Insein Prison.

Beautiful Inle Lake

Inle lake is surrounded by the mountain and home to thousands of people who have built their lives around the lake. It’s unbelievably peaceful and full of natural beauty.

Take a boat for the day with a local. I spent the day on a boat with a local man where we skipped some of the more known places and he took me to all the places I wanted. We spent the whole day on his boat, chatting, sitting on the lake, watching the other locals, we had a traditional dinner together and it was a brilliant day. Visit Red Mountain winery or explore the ancient town of Sagar. Cycle, boat or tuk tuk to the other sites around the lake, like the pagodas of In Dein, the bridge and water village at Mine Thauk, and learn about the floating gardens.

Ancient Bagan

Ride around the North and see the 2,000 temples. Bagan is a dream land filled with dirt dust roads and temples from the 9th and 13th century. It’s really beautiful and super peaceful. Although many of the temples are now closed off for climbing due to conservation and safety regulations, you can find a local and they’ll show you to the few good spots. It’s the best way to see the hot air balloons at sunrise. I rented a bike for £2.50 a day and felt super safe on it because it was electric, and the roads are small and quiet. End each day with the sunset, try Nyaung Letpet Hill, open temple by Hitlominlo  or the field of Buledi Pagoda.

  • Eat at The Moon (Be Kind to Animals). There are two spots, one in New Bagan and one in Old Bagan. They’re both real cute with low prices and a mix of traditional Burmese and vegetarian foods.
  • Check out Sanon, a Non-profit restaurant that trains underprivileged kids to work in the hospitality industry. Good food and a good cause!

Beach at Ngapali

Ok, so reviews said that Ngapali had some of the best beaches in Asia which shook me because I’ve seen some incredible beaches before. Taking a flight is the easiest option and completely worth it. Not only were the beaches beautiful, but the place is untouched too. Locals spend their days fishing and the vibes are natural and sincere. I visited some local markets where I was the only foreigner and sat with some of the women there. Super, super chill and stunning scenery. Happy days.

Things to consider;

Buy from the locals, eat in the smaller restaurants and dress appropriately around the temples. Bagan is a great place for souvenirs, clothes and gifts. Most of the websites that I read expressed concerns with money and ATM machines. I had no issues getting money, with ATM’s now available in most tourist-y areas. In Myanmar, you can use USD and the local Kyat, I used mostly Kyat. Minus the visa, which was £50, everything is very cheap, food, drink, travel and places to stay.

How to get around:

I took a mix of overnight buses and flights, but I’d recommend the buses if you have time or want to save on a night’s stay. I’ve heard they’re the best and safest way to travel and they’re the main mode of transport. Myanmar’s trains and air travel are basic and more costly.  Use JJ Express Buses – you can book these in most places and online too; https://jjexpress.net/

Here is a list of the hostels and hotels I’ve stayed at,

I stayed in a mixture of budget hostels and pricey resorts (all were soo nice, especially the Serenity Inle Resort which was on the lake at Inle):

  • Bodhi Nava Boutique Hostel & Café, Yangon
  • The Serenity Inle Resort, Ywama
  • Ostello Bello, Bagan
  • Jasmine Ngapali Resort, Ngapali

Use the link below to receive £10 off when booking any of my hotels and more!

https://www.booking.com/s/vanish15

Lastly, I want to start this by saying that Myanmar was one of my favourite countries in Asia, the trip was incredible, and the people were the nicest and most welcoming that I’ve ever come across. Before visiting any country, I do feel that it’s important to understand, research and know about any political and current situations that may cause concerns regarding ethics, safety and culture. Myanmar (what used to be known as Burma) is currently in a crisis with many fleeing from genocide, persecution and rape. It’s a serious conflict that many don’t know about. As a humanitarian, charity worker and traveller, I was obviously conflicted about visiting, but I’m SO glad that I did and would encourage others to do so too. Not only did I learn and grow in understanding, but I also saw the importance of “the people are not the government”, spreading stories and causing more good than harm. You can read my deeper post about why I’d encourage travelling to Myanmar here (it’s in progress still, patience people patience)…

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Thanks for reading guys!

Keep up with my adventures on Instagram @vanishamay and

have a good day wherever you are

Vanisha

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Unbelievable: A true story

Writing can be so hard. You have a million things that you want to say, things that you want to tell the world, but nothing comes for months and months. No inspiration and little motivation. In fact, this year, I’ve only written five blogs which sucks for me. But then, something happens… you have a moment of spark, something that kicks you straight outta bed and makes you run to your desk to write. My modern-day writers block was just cured, thanks to Netflix.

 

I could easily spend hours on end binge-watching all sorts on that platform, but it’s rare to watch something that is well made and important for the world. Netflix’s latest drama; Unbelievable is one of the best shows on there today (along with Delhi Crime which has a similar narrative, watch that too). It’s a real-life story based on the award winning journalism piece from Pro Publica and The Marshall Project which is super relevant and incredibly important to today’s current climate. A story that is far too common, a story that I share myself (read that here) and a story that made me cry silly ridiculously in my room after watching it all.

For anyone that wants to watch it, sorry for the spoilers. But also, if you’re not planning on watching it and you’re reading this now, I’m telling you to just watch it regardless.

 

The Story

The story starts with a young girl, Marie Adler, who is awoken in the night, raped repeatedly in her home and abused for hours. The guy leaves with little evidence and Marie is subjected to an awful few days in questioning, statement giving and suspicion from those around her following from her attack. The police involved were ill-trained, her support system was lacking, and she was made to believe that her story was not worthy of pursuing. Everyone doubted her which eventually flipped her life upside down due to charges of false reporting, joblessness, media reporting and social rejection. She took a plea deal and tried to forget about it all.

But a year later, and the rapist had committed five more attacks in the same way. He was caught and currently serves a 200+ year sentence thanks to a team led by two incredible women who worked relentlessly to seek justice for these survivors.

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What are the facts?

Violence against women is one of the only criminal statistics that gets higher every year. Violence against women has no race, no border, no age and no preferences. Worldwide, 1 in 3 women have experience physical/sexual violence at some point in their lives. Less than 40% seek help, and of those, less than 10% seek help from the police.

So, why don’t women report? This story highlights all the reasons why violence against women remains one of the most common and easiest crimes to get away with. Not only does every single system worldwide fail to support survivors but our social systems tend to preference male perpetrators, worrying about ruining their reputations and having a hard time believing that they’re capable of such things. Because of this, only 9% of all rapists will get prosecuted. Only 5% of cases lead to conviction, with 3% of rapists spending a full day in prison whilst the other 97% will walk free.

 

 

What can we take from this?

I’ve scrambled down five points that I believe every single person on this planet can reflect on from this story;

  1. Believe

At the centre of the violence is the shame and fear of not being believed. Societies around the world regard violence against women so low that when someone does speak out, they’re put on trial with their stories judged and dissected. That’s what it feels like anyway. Marie’s whole life was evaluated before the police even considered searching for her rapist. And it’s so rare that anyone would make this stuff up. In fact, men are more likely to be victims of a sexual assault themselves than to be falsely accused of committing one. We’re living in a global movement where people are feeling braver and stronger than ever with their stories, let’s believe survivors and stop treating them like the accused.

 2. Support 

Each time you must tell your story or think about the crime, the trauma is relived, and on days it feels endless. A moment, a smell, a touch in the wrong place, a feeling, and it sends you straight back to that moment, no matter how many years pass. There was one scene at the end where a survivor confronts her attacker in despair, she wants to know why he picked her because her life has never been the same which shows that violence is never an event that happens once. Going through an ordeal like this one, speaking out about it and living with the trauma that follows affects your whole life. It’s not easy. A good support system is crucial when healing and living through the processes of prosecution. Support those around you.

3. Share

As we’ve learned, most victims will never tell their stories fully, but for those that do, we must share and honour their stories. Their stories are examples of a society gone wrong and hold important lessons for our futures. Sharing and listening to survivors’ stories means that as a society, we’re taking their stories into account, we’re not dismissing them and we’re allowing others to feel safe to come forward with their own stories. In this case, the rapist was caught thanks to the sharing of other stories and multiple people coming forward.

 4. Fight

Most justice systems worldwide lack the services, training and support for those dealing with cases with women and violence. Creating more jobs for women in the justice system, training programs, and care support services for victims will enable the criminal process to be more effective, supportive and less distressing. Signing petitions, fighting for a more equal world and standing up for women will encourage and support everyone on the planet in multiple ways. 

5. Help

From catcalling in the street to rape and death; our stories, our perpetrators are almost always men. Yet, there are places around the world where a woman could be killed for declaring “I’ve been raped” whilst the rapist continues with his free life. Men need to be the main leaders of this fight because it’s men that are being failed at some point, in a society that leads them to believe they have privilege and control over someone else’s body on a scary scale that has been happening today and for years and years and years.

Call out the men around you who show any signs of mistreatment or abuse to the women in this world. Make the treatment of women an everyday healthy conversation with your sons, boyfriends and people. And if you can’t keep us safe, be brave enough to seek help. Here’s a brilliant TedTalk to listen to about this;

Jackson Katz: Violence against women — it’s a men’s issue

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“One in four women will be raped. Only 10% will report it. The other 90% will take refuge in silence. 50% of these be cause the perpetrator is a family member or someone they know. The other half think they won’t be believed. And they won’t be believed.” – Ines Hercovich

 

This story is just one in a million. The drama adaptation highlights everything that is important to understanding and creating a safer space for more than half of the world’s population. It’s hard to watch but I’m so glad it’s there for you all to see. I hope you take some time to watch and learn more about one of the longest running injustices to people on this planet.

Have a peaceful day and please get in touch if you ever need someone to listen;

Vanisha

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For anyone affected and to learn more, here’s some links below;

Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger: Our story of rape and reconciliation

https://www.rainn.org/

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/help-after-rape-and-sexual-assault/

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/rape-sexual-assault-and-sexual-harassment

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/

http://thesurvivorstrust.org/

http://www.endvawnow.org/en/articles/299-fast-facts-statistics-on-violence-against-women-and-girls-.html

https://www.survivorsuk.org/

https://www.propublica.org/article/false-rape-accusations-an-unbelievable-story

Travelling Thailand

My first trip to Thailand was three years ago, when my best friend and I backpacked around Asia. Assuming the country was just one big tourist trap, steaming with hen parties and lads on the sesh, my expectations weren’t very high and I was just happy to flitter through and use it as a starting point. Never assume though eh? After a short weekend back this month, I was reminded of all the reasons why I love Asia. Thailand is back in my good books and I realize how much more the country has to offer. So, what’s good and where is best to go?

 

Explore the islands down South

Hike Ko Phi Phi. The island itself isn’t too big, but it’s got plenty of trails and walkways for you to hike around and enjoy the viewpoints from up high. It’s so pretty to see the two colours of the sea where the bay separates them.

Visit the beaches because Thailand is pretty well known for its beautiful bays and movie landscapes. It’s a great place to island hop and see which one suits you best! Koh Tao for diving, Koh Phangan for partying and around 8,000 others for everything else!

Surround yourself in the culture, amazing food and people

Visit the markets which are all around the country and the best places to buy all your clothes, food and gifts from. The food in Thailand is soooo good! I’ll recommend some places down below. Remember to haggle down in the markets too!

Never have I ever had a massage or watched a famous ‘show’…

Bangkok is full of weird and wonderful things, including their famous shows, markets and massages. Personally, I’m not a fan of massages wherever I am, but everyone I know who has been to Thailand has had a massage so, if I was you, I’d do some research and stick it on my list of things to try. Along with the rest of it…

Meet the tribes.

It wasn’t until after my visit that I read some mixed reviews about this experience. People said how visiting the tribe felt like a ‘zoo’ where the women had been put on display just for tourists to come and take photos. The tribe are a group of Burmese refugees who came to Thailand and weren’t originally able to work, be educated or live outside certain areas due to their status. Like many refugees around the world.

However, now they’re given choice. To go to school, to work outside or to carry on the tradition and earn a living through tourism. Like many in Thailand. And I think the most crucial part to the debate of them being in a ‘zoo’ is connection. There’s a difference between literally turning up, without conversation, without interest, without asking questions about the tourism and their welfare, taking photos without permission and not helping their tourism to doing the opposite to that. To making a connection, building understanding and appreciating their lifestyle, choice and culture. To treat and talk to them like humans.

This gally is 4 years old and liked being tickled. She is THE cutest. She laughed when my hair got tied to my hairband. Another lady laughed at me because she’s 23 and I’m 26 and she’s already married with children and I don’t even have a boyfriend…..

Little connections. That’s how we all benefit. 

Ride around the North and hit the temples

Learn about The Golden Triangle, the history and the global drug trade. And do it in a day trip! Thailand is home to thousands of beautiful temples. After a while of exploring them, you might feel like it’s the last thing you want to see, but make Wat Rung Khun an exception and visit the amazing white temple! Go earlier or late evening to avoid the crowds and be sure to wear respectable clothing or cover ups.

Meet the elephants! Do your research and visit the amazing Asian elephants at the numerous parks and sanctuaries around Thailand.

Things to consider; Thailand is a tourist hotspot for full moon parties, animal visits, cheap sex and cheap booze. The country is trying to recover from the tourist damage but it’s still so apparent in the ruined corals, the littered beaches and the high amount of trafficking that occurs. I’m also pretty wary about riding my own motorcycle, literally everyone I know has had an accident and I just don’t see the point when transport is so cheap. However, do whatever you need to do! Before visiting places, do your research, be respectful and do your bit to make life easier for the locals who live there.

Here is a list of the hostels, hotels and places to eat I’ve stayed at:

Lanna Oriental Hotel, Chiang Mai

Freedom Hostels @ Phi Phi, Ko Phi Phi

Good Souls Kitchen, Chiang Mai

Fern Forest Cafe, Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai Night Bazaar

Use the link below to receive £10 off when booking any of my hotels and more!

https://www.booking.com/s/vanish15

Thanks for reading guys!

Keep up with my adventures on Instagram @vanishamay and have a good day wherever you are!

Vanisha

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A Guide to Bali

Bali is one of my favourite places on the planet. The island and its surrounding places have a weird and wonderful mix of modern day eateries and shops alongside a beautiful culture rich with religion and traditions. The island caters for every type of traveller and I would recommend it to everyone! It’s one of the most Instagram-able places ever, but also a developing country, so the island relies completely on tourism. The people are truly some of the kindest and nicest that I’ve ever come across, and that really makes a difference when you’re travelling! They’re completely go-with-the-flow, happy, caring and they looove music. It’s great. So, what to do and where to go?

Get spiritual and find your chill in the jungles of Ubud. 

Ubus is my favourite and the list of things to see and do is endless! Start with the must-sees like the Tegallang rice terraces where you can get your ‘gram’ shot in a swing (note that the shot is not as easy as it looks lol and the swings have a harness which might ruin your ‘floaty dress’ image. Wear a kimono or shorts underneath so the men can put the harness around it). 

Cleanse your soul and bathe in the holy water of the Pura Tirta Empul Temple. This was one of my favourite things to do. What’s the point in going anywhere if you’re not going to immerse yourself fully and just stand at the side to watch?! Pay one of the local guides to talk you through the ritual and avoid praying to the death stones! 

Have a spa day with a flower bath. It was so hard to get that ‘gram’ shot again. How do IG people do it?! Me and my bestie were half in the nude and in the dark of the bath with the petals floating away from us…. lol. The spa package was perfect on the other hand.

Visit the elephants at the numerous parks and safaris that Bali has. We went to Taro which was the closest and it felt like most of the elephants were in good care. 

Visit the art market which is the best place (I think) to buy all your clothes, accessories and gifts from. It covers a huge area with small shops winding round, up, down and through endless covers. It’s a great place to haggle too!

Tegenungan Waterfall was a fun day out and I think we saw Bedugul lakes and temple in the same trip too. Climb Mount Batur and watch the sunrise… this one is still on my to-do-list, but I’ve hear great things!

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Party, eat and shop in Canggu, Seminyak and Kuta

I honestly didn’t do much in these areas but eat, sleep and drink! The beaches are filled with surfers and the water isn’t safe to swim in so I’d recommend a place with a pool or visiting the beach clubs like Potato head and Mr Sippy. I’m sure there’s lots we missed but I prefer the islands and Ubud so we didn’t stick around for long.

Take the fast boat to Gili Trawangan Island

Gili T is the largest and most popular of the three Gili islands. It’s got a strip of restaurants, shops and bars with a bunch of activities and day trips to do.

Watch the sunset over at Sunset point. Head over to the other side of the island, grab some drinks (or a special shroom shake!) at happy hour and sit in a bean bag to watch one of the most amazing sunsets I’ve ever seen! Even on a rainy day, the sky was covered in pink.

­ Rent a bike! The island is the biggest of the three, but actually it’s tiny still! You can cycle around the whole island and back through within an hour. There’s only one path around and with no cars and a tonne of places to hire from, it’s the dreamiest place to cycle around.

Do a day trip. We spent the day island hopping and snorkelling which was lots of fun and at a pretty decent price! It’s great to get out on the sea and do things that you wouldn’t otherwise. It’s a great way to meet people too! We also rented out a gopro for the day which was completely worth it for the shots and underwater statues that lie below the water.

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­ Go diving! Gili T has some of the bluest waters around. On my first visit, me and my best friend completed our PADI Open Water certificate. We went with Diversia and it was so much fun! The water is pretty clear when the weather is good and you can see pretty corals, fish and even turtles!

Here is a list of the hostels and hotels I’ve stayed at:

– Nick’s Hidden Cottages, Ubud

– Bima Sakti Hostel, Canggu

– Coconut Garden Retort, Gili Trawangan

– Blue Moon Homestay, Gili Trawangan

And if you have a stopover try….

– ZEN Rooms Cipete, Jakarta

– Favehotel, Makassar and Jakarta

– And if you have time, visit the island of South Sulawesi with the magical lands of Tana Toraja…. Read more here!

 

You can use the link below to receive £10 off when booking any of these hotels and more with booking.com!

https://www.booking.com/s/vanish15

Thanks for reading guys!

Keep up with my adventures on Instagram @vanishamay and have a good day wherever you are

Vanisha

X

Life in China

So, I’m officially more than 6 months in to my latest adventure of living back in China and life is flying by. Some days it feels like I’ve just stepped off the plane, and others it feels like I’ve never left. China can be a crazy country, that’s for sure, and I still see things that make me mutter ‘wtf’ under my breath, but let’s be real, coming from a small town in the countryside of England, most places around the world will seem daunting and strange!

 

          People ask me, “Why China?”, and to most people back at home, it seems like a ridiculous choice where everyone eats dog and the government watches your every move. But actually, China is a fairly easy country to live in (once you get the hang of chopsticks and you get past the visa process all you brits). And for the first time in a while, I feel pretty settled.

 

 

But what’s life really like? Here she goes…

  1. I’m surrounded by cheeky little monkeys

Chinese babies and the children in general are of course, the first things that come to mind when I think of China. THEY SO CUTE. The kids are potty trained by the special pants that they wear, so you’ll see lots of little chubby children walking around with their saggy baby butts out, and it’s SO CUTE. The kids I work with are cheeky, funny and pretty darn clever. Their lives as Chinese children aren’t always easy and there’s lots of societal and family pressures, which is why I admire them every day for learning a second language that’s so different to their own. Something I can’t manage to do….

 

  1. I’ve fallen back in love with my hobbies!

China is full of surprises and life in the mega city of Shenzhen is completely different to my village life when I was here 4 years ago. There’s a huge art area, as well as a huge mix of cultures and different events, which has meant painting classes, salsa and dance lessons and meeting people from all around the world who all have similar interests as me. Having the time to do the things I love and being around like-minded people makes me happy and is so good for ma creative soul.

  1. It’s super safe

There’s not many places that I can walk around at 4am, home from the club with my headphones in, phone out and not be looking over my shoulder, but here in China. It’s one of the safest places I have ever been. Overall, crime levels are quite low as repercussions are so severe. Which great news for us girl travellers where safety is always a concern! The Chinese sense of community and culture has meant that I’ve never felt threatened or even uneasy around pretty much anyone.

  1. I ❤ people

Culturally (and in many other ways), the Chinese are quite different to us Brits, and people still do things on a daily basis to shock/annoy me. BUT when you get to know each other, they’re some of the most hospitable and welcoming people who just want to help you, feed you and make you happy. I even have my regulars! Regular dumpling man, regular bread guy, regular BBQ couple, friends behind the bar, you get the jist, it’s the little comforts that make you feel at home! Shenzhen also has a big international community, which has meant that I’ve made some great friends from all over the world, including here in China. And they all love KTV. They’re not a bad bunch.

 

 

  1. My diet of dog…

Not gonna lie, I miss Chinese takeaway and lots of other food because, believe it or not, Chinese food in actual China is so different to Chinese food back at home. The things I’d do for a chicken ball…. It’s not all bad though, they do eat some bizarre things here, but overall it’s generally healthy, there’s an abundance of fresh fruit and veg, and in my city, there’s a tonne of Mexicans, Italians, Indians and delivery places to eat from. And I found good cheese and chocolate! What more could you need?

  1. Learning Chinese is hard but it’s okay

It’s not a language you pick up quickly, actually, it takes a lot of practice and learning, especially when you don’t really need to use it so often. I get by with the use of hand gestures, minimal language and all my fab apps like translator, maps and translator. HURRAH TO 21st CENTURY LAZY LIVIN. But I love living in a country where no one understands you and where you don’t always understand them either.

  1. Shenzhen is fab

The city itself is only around 30 years old, and home to over 10 million people already. It’s super green, clean and modern, and just across the border from Hong Kong! Travel is super cheap, you can ride the metro for like 30p and the buses for 20p. Amazing. You can buy dinner for £1 and there’s mountains here, the sea, huge skyscrapers, you can bike everywhere and there’s so much to see and do. It’s a nice place to live fo sho.

 

 

  1. China has it all

They have cheap buses, high speed rails and cheap flights which means travelling is so easy and you can see and do so much around the country. From huge modern cities like Shanghai and Hong Kong, to rural rice terraces in Guilin, pandas in Chengdu, fishing villages, the Avatar mountains and Inner Mongolia, you literally can get sun, snow, mountains and beaches, and everything in between! The country is pretty impressive.

  1. Life is sweet

The Western media and outside views on China are as usual, mostly skewed. It’s not all bad air, over-populated spaces and scary harsh laws. In fact, I live really comfortably here, the skies are blue most days (with the exception of typhoons lol) and although there are many rules, people here make their own, and you know what? It works. China, thanks to modern day technology and apps, is one of the easiest and most comfortable places I’ve ever lived and been in. Sure, it’s a culture shock if you’ve never been to Asia, but generally speaking, life here is pretty sweet.

 

       Of course, it’s not all smooth sailing, but nothing worthwhile ever is, right? It’s far from home and always a risky decision to just up and leave. It’s not where I want to spend the rest of my life but I’m definitely happy here at the moment and that’s worth something. If you’re thinking of packing your bags, I’d say, GO. What’s the worst that could happen? That you hate it and decide to head back home? Be brave and live wildly wherever you may be my huns. And if I still haven’t persuaded you, then at least come and visit me here in China!

 

Get in touch if you have any questions about travelling, living abroad or China!

And catch my adventures on IG @vanishamay

祝你有美好的一天

Vanisha

X

 

Tips for living in China:

  • Download A VPN before you arrive. China’s Government blocks most things that we use (IG, Facebook, Google), so be sure to unlock your phone and get a VPN. I use ExpressVPN 🙂
  • Do your research and don’t get scammed whether it’s with your visa, housing or shopping.
  • Use WeChat for everything. It’s the Chinese version of WhatsApp but 10x better. I pay my rent, find out about events and talk to my friends all in the same app. They’re one step ahead of us.
  • Salaries can be higher and cost of living is lower which means China is a good place to save money if you’re smart about it.
  • Make use of the places around you within China and visit the countries around too! Flights and transport is pretty cheap, and you have to try a sleeper train!
  • Have fun, eat the street food, prepare for squat toilets and don’t drink from the tap huns.

 

For more travel related blogs, check out what it’s like dating in china, my top 10 fave countries ever and many many more in that travel section up the top! Enjoy!

 

A lonely girls guide to being alone

“I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely.

You see, there’s a BIG difference between being alone and being lonely.

Being alone is power. A power that not everyone is capable of. It’s a state of being. Being alone is something you can enjoy, it’s something you own, it’s something you choose. You can be by yourself and find ways to make yourself smile. You connect with yourself hard. Being alone can bring you so much happiness.

Being lonely is the opposite. It’s an emotion. It’s not positive, it’s silence that hurts and the thought of all the things that you’re missing out from hovers like a black cloud. It’s not enjoyable at all. You can be in a room full of people but feel completely alone. You feel disconnected, and it’s not something you always choose. Being lonely brings you anything but happiness.

I know people that are terrified of being alone, they jump from relationship to relationship and would never imagine going to the movies, or travelling, or eating dinner alone. And I know people that have spent most of their lives in different states of loneliness, being with the wrong partner, spending years of their life alone or even people who travel, moving from city to city with no real roots.

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Sometimes, I am both. I’ve travelled the world, I’ve lived away from home, I’ve been single for a long time and I’m fiercely independent. Most days, I look back at the life I’ve had so far and I’m so proud of everything that I’ve achieved, mostly by myself. I’ll come home from work, back to my little flat in China and close the door behind me. I’ll come home to silence and I look around my room, everything I own is mine and everything I do is for me. Most days I cherish this and am SO grateful for it all. But some days it feels empty and I wonder when I’ll close the door behind me and someone will be so happy to have me home, someone who’ll stick around to share it all with me (read about why travel is ruining my dating life here).

But my point is, I’m not alone, am I? Surveys are finding that more and more people are feeling lonely. And in a time where we’re more ‘connected’ than ever, loneliness is not something we talk about enough, especially if you’re male, a mother, a boss, or anything that might ‘weaken’ your image. But it’s okay to feel like this, I think most of us will at some point of our lives, and I hope you’ll find someone to talk to or a way to get out of it before it drags you down deeper. It’s a dangerous road but there are paths to overcome it all.

“I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.”

6 ways to conquer being alone and the feelings of loneliness:

  1. Firstly, it’s a basic tool but I’ve recently fell in love with this chatroom. Of course, I meet people from all around the world and I have a great support system back at home, but this thing is fab! It’s a safe space with controlled and positive communications. Use it regardless of how you’re feeling, send it to your loved ones and share the hell out of it… https://chat.itskoko.com/
  2. Make plans and find new connections/relationships. Be brave and embrace the good people around you. Human connection is meant to be the key to a happy and long life! Be kinder, love harder and smile bigger. Make plans so you stick to something and so you have something to look forward to. It really is the little things that can make a big difference.
  3. Find positives out of your situation. Like, yeah, I might be single AF (and therefore sometimes lonely) but I get to travel the world, do what I want every day AND starfish every night with no one judging my Netflix choices… just an example. And also, remove anything that triggers your feelings of loneliness like songs from your ex, old photos, you get me, just until you’re stronger.
  4. Find things you enjoy doing, whether it be alone or to meet new people. You have all this freedom, so use it! Discover new hobbies, do things you love and make your life about you. Join classes, the gym, venture out of the house and go for walks alone! It’ll all make you feel better, especially a bit of exercise (this is me convincing myself too)….
  5. Self-love. I’m not sure how many times I’ve used that word in my blogs, but I don’t give myself enough of it and I’m sure if you’re still reading this then you need a reminder too! You are not unwanted, unloved or unworthy. You deserve everything good in this life and this feeling won’t last forever. Remember this. You are your longest relationship, and you have to spend the rest of your life with you! Forgive yourself, love yourself and promise to do better for yourself.
  6. I also recommend reading Dr. Seuss’ ‘Oh, the places you’ll go!’. It’s my favourite book in the world. If you’re still reading, you’ll need it. Read it, share it and remember it. He’s a genius.

So, embrace being alone and seek for something different if you’re feeling lonely. And one more thing, be kind, to each other and to yourself. You never know what battle people are fighting, what they must go home to every day or how hard their life has been. Call your mum more often, take your Nanna out for lunch and tell your best friend you love them. You’ll never regret being kinder.

Sending lots of love,

V

x

For more reads check out my My 8 steps for healing.Mental health and me: bringing back my power.Mental health and me., and Thoughts of a single gal

Who made your clothes?

So, I’m starting this blog with an exercise. I want you to look down your body. Run your hands over every item of clothing that you’re wearing, every layer and feel right down to your shoes. Feel that material and look close at the stitches. Now, think about all the other hands that have touched your clothes too. Do you know how many? Now, check the labels. Made in where? Vietnam? China? Bangladesh? And made by who?

Did you know that, if you’re reading this, you have 4x the amount of clothes in your wardrobe than your parents did? Did you know that 1 in 4 people around the world work in the fashion industry as we know it, with 98% of those people living below the poverty line, and 80% of those people being women? And is any of this making any of us happier? Hell to the no. Far from it.

I want you to meet Nazma, who at 13 years old, started work in a Bangladeshi garment factory; earning a wage equivalent to £2 a month. Nazma’s life has been extremely difficult, because not only has she worked in conditions, that some consider as modern-day slavery since she was 13 years old, but she’s also seen the hardships and inequalities of hundreds just like her.

I saw Nazma last year. She was angry with the world and asking for change.

“Women are earning £50 a month. They make your t-shirts, your dresses, your leggings. The multi-national and retailers come to where the labour markets are cheap. And when clothes are cheap, women are cheap. Nothing comes for free in this world, nothing is discount, women pay with their blood and their sweat… Women are not respected. Women should be safe in all workplaces, everywhere.” – Nazma Akter, London, 2017

And above is Laboni and her husband, who moved to Bangladesh to find work and a new life. Laboni, alongside 1,137 others died when her factory collapsed five years ago.  The Rana Plaza story still hits me hard because it’s a story so common and a story that is never taken seriously enough. A story where workers rights and concerns were ignored, and the clothes that now fill our wardrobes were made at a human cost, just like so many others.

Most of my wardrobe, and yours, would have started in the hands of girls like Laboni and Nazma. They then end up in shops worth billions of pounds. Worth enough money to pay these women and men fair living wages. Worth enough money for their CEO’s and management to actually make time and visit the hands that are making their goods. Worth enough money to ensure that no human is working in these unsafe and inhumane conditions, yet alone a 13-year-old child. Worth enough money to make a change.

You cannot exploit women in one country to empower them in another. It shouldn’t work like that. That’s not empowerment. That’s not freedom, or love, or anything positive in fact.

But we’re greedy, right? And at least they’ve got jobs, right?

Yeah in deathly conditions. You know in the UK when it hits over 25 degrees, and everyone starts banging on about ‘safe working conditions’ and workers’ rights in that godforsaken heat? Well imagine that, plus another 10 degrees, plus 10-hour working days, plus seeing your family twice a year, plus dirty living conditions, plus gruelling work environments that are unsafe and the air is filled with chemicals, plus very little choice so you’re trapped and taken advantage of. Workers in Cambodia faint daily from the heat, starvation and pure exhaustion. Who do they work for? Suppliers to Nike and Puma. For how much? £120 a month.

And that’s just a snippet of the effect it has on the people of our planet, but the fashion industry is harming our planet in extraordinary ways too.

As the consumers, we are the cause of this. We are the cause of a 500% increase in consumption. Because of us, the consumers, the factory industry is now the world’s biggest plastic polluter, the second biggest energy consumer and the biggest producer of the non-bio gradable material that is polyester. Click here for my last blog to read more about the effects that fashion has on our planet. 

 

What are the solutions?

The solutions are in our hands, and there are so many of them! As a consumer (and human being!), I love to shop, I like my clothes, and I love getting dressed up. And I’m not saying we should stop, that we should boycott and throw tomatoes at the doors of Zara, but we can shop with a conscience, with more care and with more heart. This is easier said than done, when every time you flick on to Instagram you see girls earning big bucks for promoting these labels hard. I get the pressures of society. But think, is it worth it? What’s going to really matter 10 years from now?

  • Repair, re-wear and reuse your clothes

Don’t buy anything with the thought of chucking it away. Buy things that you love and wear them with love, repeatedly. Repair them, learn to sew things up and customise!

  • Engage with and challenge current suppliers

Shop ethically and challenge the fashion industry. If a company doesn’t have transparency regarding their suppliers and production makers, then the likelihood that they either have no idea who is making their clothes or that they’re in unsuitable, unethical conditions is highly likely. Do your research, ask questions and don’t be afraid to stand up for what’s right.

  • Stop sending all your old sh*t to charity shops

Use Depop, eBay, car boot sales and sell them on! You’ll make some money and your clothes will go to a new home, instead of a landfill like the ones damaging Haiti. Who’s winning now?!

  • Realise change starts with you

Nazma is now a human rights activist who spends her days fighting for justice, safe working conditions and fair pay for factory workers. We can do the same. Follow ethical brands on Instagram, shop from ethical brands and support these people hard! Move away from the stereotype that ethical fashion is expensive and exclusive. Imagine if every brand was ethical? It would all be affordable and sustainable.

 

In fact, only 1-3% of the final cost goes to the hands that actually made them, so realistically speaking, we just need to shift the money from the hands of the super rich CEO’s and into the hands of these women. This way, costs wouldn’t even go up for us…

The makers of our clothing, those who are so often invisible and marginalised, are worth celebrating and given safety and quality of life too. No-one’s life, and the future of our planet is worth losing over the latest material trends. Let’s call on the UK fashion brands to protect the women who make our clothes and the planet that we live on.

And next time you change your outfit or purchase a new item of clothing, I dare you to look at the label and ask; Who made my clothes? Is she getting paid? Is she safe? Who is she?

Thanks for reading you lovely lot!

Vanisha

X

Follow my twitter and instagram @vanishamay

 

Things to follow:

Things to watch:

 

Everything you need to know about volunteering abroad

Yesterday marked what would have been Nelson Mandela’s 100th birthday, a day to celebrate a man that dedicated his life to global peace-making and a day to inspire others to continue the fight for what is right. He once said, “What counts in life is not the mere fact that we lived. It is the difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead” and I couldn’t agree more! The big legend.

And, I get asked a lot about my volunteer and charity work. How do I do it? Where do you even start? There’s different prices, locations, different work involved, different lengths of time required, etc etc etc. There’s a lot to think about and consider when it comes to changing the world! Drum roll please….

  1. Start with the basics

Find your passions and think about what you’d like to do (or what you’d NOT like to do). There’s literally something for everyone from the usual teaching English and childcare to the unusual like turtle conservation and building with the Maasai Mara. Focus on organisations that resonate with your morals and passions. Research them, make sure they’re legit, follow them on insta and drop them an email, even if it’s just to say, ‘hey great work you’re doing!’, you’ll get to see the response, ask more questions and review their requirements and application details. You can do it!

  1. My first solo trip

When I was 19, all I knew was that something bigger was waiting for me, but like you guys, I had no bloody idea where to start! So, I took to the internet, searched for well-known organisations and booked my flight to Morocco. Volunteering with a well-knoen, global organisation like Original Volunteers, VSO or GVI are great for first timers and pretty straight-forward, but usually come at a high cost. You’ll usually pay for your meals, airport pick-up, in-land help and accommodation, which means that all you have to do is turn up! I went to Marrakesh where there were daily placements for us to choose from such as visiting nurseries, village schools and an orphanage. There was a huge group of us and the organisation ran fun sightseeing trips too. If you’re looking for cheaper options then this isn’t the best way to start, but it’s easy and fun, especially if you’re a beginner, and organisations like OV are worldwide!

Where? Morocco.

What? Mostly working with children.

Who? Original Volunteers

Visit them here: https://www.originalvolunteers.co.uk/

  1. Exchanges

Help X is an incredible website filled with individuals and smaller organisations that are seeking volunteers and help. Again, the work ranges from anything you can imagine and you can find work in the biggest cities of the world to the highest mountains (probably)! And the great thing about Help X is that there’s no middle man asking for big bucks for your help. Some places ask for donations which you’ll feel like you’ll want to by the end of your trip, but basically, they’ll offer accommodation and meals in exchange for your work. It’s pretty simple and a real great way to travel whilst volunteering. You really get a feel of people’s lives and get involved on a deeper level that you wouldn’t always experience with a bigger organisation.

Where? It’s worldwide but I’ve used Help X in Indonesia and my best gal has used it in Chile and Italy!

What? You can do all sorts! I stayed with a family and helped promote a fathers English School in South Sulawesi. One of the most interesting experiences of my life!

Who? Literally anyone and everyone.

Go have a goosey-gander: https://www.helpx.net/

  1. The internet

I swear by google. It’s thanks to me simply typing in ‘volunteer in Kuala Lumpur’ and ‘volunteer in Mexico’ that I found two incredible causes and had the opportunity to visit both. Just type in ‘volunteering in (insert country)’ then email away! Read the websites, follow them and check their values, then just go ahead and message them! I’ll also make a list at the bottom of great people and organisations to follow and check out. Social media is great for this, you can see what organisations are about from your computer screen! Instagram is great too, people will tag and post things of their own experiences. It’s a great tool, use it.

The refugee school that I found in Malaysia is always seeking volunteers. They’re a marginalised group of wonderful teachers and children who are all just hoping for better lives. They don’t get much funding or help in general so travel friends, go drop by and say hey!

Where? Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

What? Teaching

Who? School for refugees

They don’t have official pages so feel free to ask me for contact details and addresses!

  1. Mexico

Thanks to google. I also found this inspiring group of people! Mision Mexico has been a blessing for me and if you follow my social media, you’ll definitely know these guys! I volunteered with them last year and have continued my work with them ever since! They’re a small refuge for children in the border town of Tapachula, and they depend wholly on donations, volunteers and sponsors. The kids learn to swim, surf and all sorts, so the work needed is pretty varied and they’re always in need of extra hands! It’s a great cause and they’re a fab bunch of people. Read more about life as a Misión México volunteer here.

Where? Tapachula, Mexico

What? Working with children

Who? About 40 incredible kids and teens!

Visit and follow us here: https://www.facebook.com/MisionMexicoChildren/

https://www.instagram.com/misionmexico/

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And there you have it! Volunteering isn’t easy. The process can be long, expensive and the work itself can be tough, demanding and sometimes emotionally hard to deal with. You work with people who have been through the unimaginable and still manage to smile more times a day than you. And you work alongside people who commit their lives just like Mandela, to making the world a better place for all. It makes you question the world and life and what really matters. And that’s why it’s all worth it! You’ll be forever changed, and the world will be too 😊

I hope you feel inspired and I hope you go do some good today!

Feel free to message me if you have any questions about anything still!

Have a lovely day folks

V

X

I’ve tagged a load of people to follow on my latest post on IG too! https://www.instagram.com/vanishamay

Below is a list of sites and people to follow;

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Why travel ruins your love life….

**Noted that this really only applies if you’re single already. I’m fully aware that there are some couples out there who have found each other and have combined their love for travel and country-hopping whilst holding hands and producing banging pics all over insta. Not jealous at all. But these are my feels as a gal who is constantly coming and going, mostly going, and single AF.

Over the last 5 years, I’ve spent more than 17 months overseas. I’ve travelled over 30 different countries. The idea of finding romantic love seems almost impossible at the moment, especially as I’ve just left the country again, and this time for long-term. And every time I’ve become close to someone, no matter how right it seems in my head, I think there’s always my other love that pulls me back and tells me that it will never work. Travel.

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Looking out for all the good men…

And it scares other people too! As soon as you say you’re leaving, of course no one wants to invest their time or effort into you. And I haven’t found anyone willing enough to travel with me yet!

The idea of being a girl who is always on the move seems exciting at first but let’s be real, it’s not quite ideal is it. And I’m fully aware of that. Most of the time. Perhaps because I’ve never had enough time to build anything worthwhile. Or perhaps because they’ve just been plain wrong for me. Or a mixture.

And I’m always asked whether I meet people while I’m away. Of course I do.

But usually it’s the same with me leaving the country soon, or they’re travelling too, which means they’ve got their own plans and passions to follow. And although we keep in touch, long-distance just isn’t for me. Because long-distance can be hard and comes with its own sets of problems. And the likelihood of our paths crossing anytime soon is extremely unlikely. Unfortunately.

 

So, it’s all very difficult.

Travel is life-changing and amazing, and you meet so many wonderful people that you’re almost never physically alone! But at the same time, it can be incredibly lonely and you wonder when you’re next big life-changing person will come along. Someone to share all these incredible experiences with. Is it really too much to ask?!

“If you asked me, maybe the saddest part about travel love isn’t that it almost always comes to an end. Maybe the saddest part is that, often, the ones we are able to form the deepest, most emotional connections with, are the ones we know we are not destined to spend the rest of our lives knowing.” – unkown

Does this mean I’ll stay still for a while and consider settling? Hahahaha.
I’m joking. Perhaps if I met the right person, but right now, I’d be a fool to put my career and personal loves on hold for an idea that is always so far from something solid.

Which is probably what they’re all thinking too! Staying put for a year in China might open doors to new opportunities but it’s not as simple as dating back home. First there’s the language barrier, and the situation that most people are here for their gap year (whereas this is my whole life) or you realise that you’ve travelled every corner of the world and guys rarely differ…. Lol joking again. Kind of. Not really.

But maybe it’s not all bad, maybe it doesn’t completely ruin your love life.

Maybe it opens the window to a completely different kind of love life. Some of my most exciting, funniest and happiest love related stories (and lessons!) have come from these last few years. Skinny dipping in the Philippines. Fancy holidays in Cancun. Watching the sun rise on Copacabana beach. Running in torrential rain in Mexico. So. Many. Good. Times. And so much happiness still.

Travel blogger

Travel is exciting and you meet new people who are adventuring and experiencing life in the same ways that you are. You have so much in common and everything happens at max speed because you literally run on a different time scale.

As opposed to back home where you have all these stages and an infinite amount of time to slowly form that relationship, travel love and these deep connections can form within days and be over just as quickly.

I think my perception of love and need to form that excitement and passion from day one will always be there thanks to my travel life and experiences, I rush and dive deep into everything. With no regrets (98% of the time). It’s proved to me that time is not a measure of love, and because of that I’ve made great connections with people from all around the world. I have many lovely little love stories! My life is not filled with less love, just a different kind. And that’s pretty cool too.

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So, I’ll carry on being as patient as can be, carry on building my life and loving every single second of it with every hope that life is preparing something just as incredible for me. China, do you have him? The story continues…

travel blogger

Have a fab day and follow me and my IG adventures at @vanishamay. 

Gracias! Xie xie! Thank youuuu for reading my ramblings as always

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