Coping with COVID

“Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh

 

It’s my eleventh week in a lock-down life, which means that I’ve spent most of 2020 in a weird limbo situation and my experiences and thoughts on the world, on you and I and COVID-19 have honestly, been through a lot. My eleventh week means that I’m pretty experienced. I’ve seen it all. From my last blog in China to today in the UK, I have a lot to compare and talk about, but actually, I’ve mostly pretty over it all. Our information is SO toxic and so many people around me are struggling to deal with the situation, so I just want to share and help using what I know and what I’ve been doing. For eleven weeks. ELEVEN WEEKS. You’ll go through stages, a buzz and hope, maybe anger, boredom and grief, then more of a content stage, which is where I’m at! I hope this brings you all some positivity and hope.

THE MEDIA IS POOP

I’m gonna start a little rough but I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve learned and how much I hate about western media and our toxic relationship with it all. Stop watching the news, stop sharing stuff over WhatsApp and your IG stories, and don’t take in too much of the ‘well my sister knows someone who lives next to someone who saw 5G and bat soup walk into a bar together….’, it will not make you or anyone else feel better. Every day is different and changing and no-one knows it all right now, not even the experts. And it’s on steroids. Don’t believe it, don’t share it and don’t spread it.

From me to you:

  1. If you want to keep updated, try WHO and the government websites, both of which will change and can’t fully predict it all either, but they’re the important ones.
  2. Remove news channels and apps so you’re controlling the amount you see and share yourself. I don’t even recommend watching the BBC news but that’s me.
  3. If you are curious and feel passionate enough to share something to the hundreds on your social media world, then check the facts of it first. Is it reliable? Is it in context? Is it real? Is it important?
  4. Find other things happening in the world today. There’s lots going on that we’re not hearing about anymore (links below), and there’s lots of ways to make a positive difference and positive news even with COVID. 

Do your best

Since the virus has reached the western world, I’ve seen so much more pressure and shame on how to live through this. Super toxic and annoying. Every day, every person and every country are different and there’s no right or wrong way when dealing with something unexpected and inexperienced. Start a new project and be happy one day, spend the day in bed and cry into your chocolate bar the next. Who bloody cares? Do what you need to do to feel good and to manage.

From me to you:

  1. Try to have some balance. I need days where I switch off and binge Netflix in my pjs alone but if I did that every day, then I’d be super depressed. Try to be proactive and do something you love away from the screen to kill time, bring some happiness and a sense of achievement. Balance bbz.
  2. Don’t compare your time to others and remove anything that makes you feel bad. Social media is just a snippet, it’s not all real. And it can be a source of inspiration, but when your fave travel girl from Bali is posting her lock-down pics in her bikini and her villa, it doesn’t hit the same. Life is different and limited right now, say ‘see you soon’ and mute that.
  3. Do try new things. You don’t need to fill every minute with tasks and hobbies, but this time is rare. Some of us have never had so long at home to ourselves so don’t be scared to try new things, no matter who you are or what you’re used to. Links for inspo at the bottom and will be on my IG.

 

Stay healthy

It’s so easy to fall into bad habits when you’re out of routine and stuck at home. And I’m no angel, but I think it’s about balance and making small additions to be good to your body and mind, especially right now. I honestly hate exercise, but it always makes me feel better and after so long at home, you do notice the bad side effects like neck and back pain… trust me. Even your food intake will affect your mood. I balance the below with things I love. A coffee to wake me up, wine some evenings, naughty food at the weekend and some chocolate every day.

From me to you:

  1. Every day I try to have apple cider vinegar mixed with honey and warm water, a vitamin C, garlic extract and zinc tablet, a heap of natural yoghurt with live bio cultures, plenty of water, sometimes turmeric and warm coconut milk then usually a load of veggies. I don’t enjoy it all but I’m sure my body loves me for it.
  2. Do a workout on YouTube, walk around your garden or do some yoga. I usually like dancing, martial arts and Pilates. And every now and then, stick on some loud music and dance around the room. Immediate happiness and health. Links at the bottom.
  3. Have a bit of a routine. Doing things like showering, putting on make up and doing your nails seems silly when you’re not leaving the house, but it’ll make you feel better most days. Self-care my people, practice that shizz.
  4. Remember that everything you take in, mentally and physically will influence you. A few weeks ago, I read ‘The tattooist of Auschwitz’ and the sequel book, which I loved but maaaan were they dark. Read, watch, do and listen to things that will give you a lift, not a downer. Links at the bottom but please bring me suggestions too!

GO WITH THE FLOW

Lives will change, jobs will change, things will change and lots of it sucks, but it’s happening. To think about the future for some people is scary and uncertain, but it’s not helpful to anyone right now, including yourself. It’s hard but we’re literally all in this together. You’re not alone. And out of all the conspiracies and nonsense, my favourite theory is that this time has come to teach us all what’s really important in life, to take a pause away from our destructiveness and let the world and its people heal, together. Nothing is forever, we can’t control it all and having a ‘whatever happens happens’ attitude doesn’t mean you don’t care, just that you have hope and trust life.

From me to you:

  1. Have hope amongst the uncertainty that new information, happiness and support will come as life goes on. It’s okay to grieve and feel sad but we must have more hope. Live in the present with patience and do what you can today. Imagine how good life and all those little things will feel again soon!
  2. I make a rough plan to try and stay productive, but it changes all the time. Take each day as it comes and don’t try to control anything but make a no pressure plan to keep you excited about things and to give purpose.
  3. Meditate and breathe. I use a tonne of apps (links below) to help me sleep and be calm. My sleep is super messed up right now but again, I try not to feel bad about it. Go easy on yourself.

Count your blessings and be kind always.

Like I said earlier, so many of us have never and might never experience such a time like this again, and though it’s hard, we’re so lucky still. Please don’t feel guilty, just take in with full gratitude and realise how amazingly blessed most of us are. These are the worst of our times, yet the sun is shining, most of us are safe in our nice homes, we have an abundance of food, clean and safe water, electricity, WIFI, working from home or government security, home entertainment, the amazing NHS in the UK and most of us are loved by someone, boy I could go on.

From me to you;

  1. Sadly, many people’s time on earth will come to an end, and the whole world will hurt together. Show more love to those around you today and every day, make phone calls, text people, and give love to yourself. Each day we wake is a blessing.
  2. This awful time has connected us all, yet I still see so much hurt and racism. Call out or report abuse or anyone trying to incite hate and harm. We’re all fighting the same battle, and so many have it unimaginably worse, so practice and create more kindness for all. Fight for the good and lift those hurting.
  3. Now is the time to be better for humanity, to create a better world for us all to go back to and to appreciate all that we have. Let’s practice kindness, patience, gratitude, community, hope, strength and positivity. Let’s create change and learn something from this.
  4. Donate to local food banks, get involved with online quizzes, shop locally, have online mate dates, check in on your neighbours, help charities suffering and all the rest of it. There are so many ways to give back (you don’t have to do them all!) and it will bring you and many others joy. I’ve listed some charities below and causes that I know are especially suffering now.

Wear a mask if you can. Clean your hands regularly and properly. Contact the recommended if you’re feeling the symptoms. Please get in touch with me if you need any tutorials, links, advice , if you can send more recommendations for things or if you just need a little chat.

Stay indoors. Stay sane. Have hope. Look after each other and be kind always.

 

Sending peace and love to you,

Vanisha

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Follow my Instagram at @vanishamay

Art

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcR1TUaD8Zn6P6O8hOA-xYA

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPRuDp5qn2_Q41sE-bfP4uA/videos

https://www.instagram.com/koketit/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMJyHCbGKnUhpuPP0jsZV-w

https://www.instagram.com/kristythepainter/

https://www.instagram.com/gisellefenig/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChtwlKDPqmumk_J0tGUVu7A

Mind, Body and Soul

https://breethe.com/

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/sleep/id1447478883

https://www.calm.com/

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/slumber-fall-asleep-insomnia/id1109543953

https://www.youtube.com/user/popsugartvfit

https://www.todaysthebestday.com/50-things-to-do-for-yourself-during-a-quarantine-coronavirus/

Watch, Read, Listen and Do

https://www.netflix.com/title/80017537

https://www.netflix.com/title/81115994

https://www.netflix.com/title/80160037

https://healthyhappyimpactful.com/how-start-journal/

https://www.happify.com/hd/8-podcasts-that-will-give-you-a-happiness-boost/

https://www.happify.com/public/happify-daily/

https://relaxily.tumblr.com/post/614939036671492096/things-to-do-during-quarantine

Community

https://www.trusselltrust.org/what-we-do/

https://www.facebook.com/MisionMexicoChildren/

https://helprefugees.org/

https://www.crisis.org.uk/

https://www.shelter.org.uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

The freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247

The Respect phone line 0808 8024040 is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm

 

The Complex Case of Shamima Begum

The case of Shamima Begum, a 19-year old girl who flew the UK four years ago to join ISIS is extremely complex. Her story made the headlines when her and two other friends left London to join one of the world’s most notorious organisations. Now, four years later, her two friends have died, she’s lost two children, she’s just given birth in a refugee camp, and Begum wants to return back home to the UK and her family.

**** update: Shamima’s baby son has lost his life to pneumonia after freezing to death in the refugee camp that Begum has been living in since the UK government stripped her illegally from her citizenship.

The UK’s reaction

For lots of people in the UK, this has caused outrage. Her citizenship has since been revoked meaning that she is now stateless. Most people won’t know what that means, but it’s a pretty dire and dangerous situation to be in. Being stateless strips her of all her rights and to do this is actually illegal under international law. Marie Lecont says “I find the issue of young people who’ve joined ISIS as teenagers and now want to come back very complex to be honest. I’m not sure where I stand on it. I’m amazed so many of you have confidently picked a side once and for all.” For me, it shows the extremity and online bravery of so many uneducated people who seem to be detached from the international world.

From reading online, I’ve seen the jokes made of professors, educators and academics. Where the awful woman that is Katie Hopkins (who makes the most unrelated points) is actually being given more of a platform than people who understand and are extremely knowledgeable when it comes to cases of terrorism, psychology, human rights and international relations, which is ultimately what this case is about. It’s much deeper and complex than most would even care to understand. And what an easy bandwagon it is to jump on when you hear the words ‘terrorism’, ‘Muslim girl’ and ‘ISIS’.

It’s funny as most people are quick to think that Shamima is fully responsible for being groomed and abused by ISIS, but are still furiously angry at the Rotherham and Oldham cases where girls of the same age were also groomed and abused. Perhaps it’s because the ethnicities have been switched? We need to also remember that no man has ever been treated like this. Her issue is made more of an issue because of the complexities regarding her gender, race and religion.

People have also been quick to compare her responsibility to that of the boys in the James Bulger case. A case where the boys had committed a gruesome murder at the ages of 10 years old and were convicted as the UK’s youngest criminals. A case where people only take into consideration that first part, and not the part where they served only 8 years in prison, and were assessed and monitored throughout, to then be given second chances with normal lives and under new alias.

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An eye for an eye

Shamima is not the first and won’t be the last to have fallen for the tricks of ISIS and now wishes to return home. An estimated 400 people have left and returned back to the UK from Syria and ISIS. The girls are groomed online for a long period of time, sold a dream of a life overseas by people that they think they can trust, only to discover a life of the opposite. When they arrive, they’re usually sold as wives to unknown men, raped, abused over and over, and taken to areas where they lack food, water and electricity. It’s not like she could just book a flight home. She didn’t have the access, knowledge or capability. The friends that she went with have since died, so it’s a miracle that Shamima has even escaped, not forgetting that she has literally just given birth.

Her interviews

In her recent interviews where she discovers that her identity has been revoked and she is stating that she wants to come home, it seems she lacks remorse or even a great understanding on the seriousness of her case. I watched it and was a little shocked myself. However, I looked a bit further into this too. Shamima’s answers are short, she seems unbothered and says she has little regrets about her last 4 years. But let’s take into consideration that….

  • She had just given birth in a refugee camp before one of the interviews. Of course, she is tired, probably suffering from PTSD and is facing a backlash regardless of what she says or does.
  • She’s also spent the last four years in vulnerable states surrounded by men. The only people that have interviewed her so far are men.
  • There’s such thing called Stockholm Syndrome where you grow to love your abuser or kidnapper. Though the people who surround her and her life might be the most terrifying people in the world to us, to her, they’ve been her family for years and probably shine in a very different light. This actually makes her even more vulnerable.

190215-Shamima-Begum

She is not innocent, but she’s still a victim

It’s complex because she is not innocent. She’s witnessed and been involved with one of the world’s most notorious organisations. Therefore, she should be, rightly, tried before the courts and completely and thoroughly assessed and monitored with her baby taken into care. If you want to understand why and how people can be radicalised, if you don’t understand why she got on that plane in the first place, then the most logical thing would be to fly her back, question her and try to understand it all from her point of view. We could really learn a lot from this and learn to prevent situations like this.

We must take into consideration the complexity, back story and situation where she has made such an awful decision that will affect her for life. A decision that has left her suffering, bereaved, confused and lost. A decision that would obviously affect her words when it comes to news reports. A decision made where she had little or no control and was completely vulnerable. A decision that we can learn from to ensure that this never happens again.

We must also take into consideration that “At 19; she’s lived in a war zone, aware she’s betrayed her family and caused them pain, she’s lost two children, lost a husband and is living in a refugee camp” – @BLKMimiLD says on twitter. We must remember that for three of her four years, Shamima was pregnant, which means that she was not out running around, beheading our men and fighting on behalf of ISIS, as most of you seem to think. We must also consider her current mental state, her PTSD and the battles that are now seeded in her mind.

As a humanitarian, I believe she needs intensive mental care, restorative justice and rehabilitation. She is not innocent, and she will never be able to live a free life again, but she is a human who has lived her last four years in unimaginable circumstances, whose life may have been different if we as a society hadn’t failed her to begin with. What kind of life did we provide her in the UK where the option to join ISIS seemed far better?

I say, by unpopular opinion, that we should allow her to come back, we should learn from her and her last years in captivity and we should also ensure that we are not creating or allowing more souls to be damaged and affected in this world. If you hate ISIS and everything they’re doing to our world so much, then you should be fighting for the root cause of cases like this, not at the victims who are the end result of their doings.

Peace and love to you all,

Vanisha

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To support organisations who are working in refugee camps, with online abusers and terrorism, click the links below;

refugee-camp-syria

If you want to educate yourself more on the topics of terrorism before feeding into the likes of Katie Hopkins and The Sun, then below I’ve created a list of helpful readings, books and materials;

Books

  • Human rights in the ‘War on Terror’ by R.Wilson
  • Enemies Everywhere: Terrorism, Moral Panic, and US Civil Society by Rothe, D. and Muzzatti, S.
  • Terror vs. terror by Mallow, B.
  • Terrorism by Howard, L.
  • Women, Gender and Terrorism by Laura Sjoberg

Watch and listen

  • Three Girls, BBC
  • Woman’s Hour, The Shamima Begum Case Podcast
  • The High Low, The Complicated Case of Shamima Begum Podcast

Online Readings

Child abuse BBC drama

Why everyone should watch BBC’s new drama ‘Three Girls’, and how it could help save a child’s life…

“Violence against children is a violation of their human rights, a disturbing reality of our societies. It can never be justified whether for disciplinary reasons or cultural tradition.” -Louise Arbour, United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights

 

The new BBC drama ‘Three Girls’ is a chilling and disturbing story based on one of the UK’s biggest crime stories. Why should everyone watch it? Because it shows how prolific sex crimes are, how it can go unnoticed for years, how vulnerable our young people are, and how the police, social workers, support workers, local government workers and society failed these girls on every single level. And there are thousands more like them.

 

Studying criminology, stories like this one are not new for me. I’m aware of how cruel and dangerous people in this world can be, but the first episode gave me chills from start to finish.

 

How big is the problem?

Sexual offences against children are increasing in the UK, along with the number of children in child protection. The development in technology has also meant that acts of grooming and cyber abuse are easier and more harmful due to online porn, videos and photos being posted online. Globally, UNICEF estimate that 150 million girls and 73 million boys under 18 have experienced forced sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual violence involving physical contact. Young people are some of the most vulnerable people in our society.

REFUGEES-1

Which is why this case is so shocking and heartbreaking. Horrific abuse went on for years and the perpetrators were the same men, grooming and victimising 47 girls, some as young as 13. Giving the children free food, befriending them and supplying them with vodka, the men involved in the child sex ring would pass the intoxicated girls round for sex and other sexual acts.

 

The reason this case is so incredibly unnerving is because society failed these girls on a number of occasions. Minus the actions and determination of one woman, Sara Rowbotham, the police, social workers and support workers involved missed clear signs and opportunities to support and protect these vulnerable, hurting and abused children. It’s shameful and difficult to watch or read about. But their story is incredibly important and I have great admiration for all the girls for helping and allowing the BBC to retell their story.

 

Making a difference…

Raising awareness about sex crimes is so important. Recognising the signs and realising the importance of speaking out, questioning and protecting any child that may be a victim of abuse is exactly what we need to think about in order to stop these crime rates from rising. Instead of shaming and assuming sex crime victims are ‘sluts’, ‘prostitutes’ or ‘asking for it’, we need to be more understanding, aware and ready for to support any child suffering, and help bring justice to the horrendous abusers and criminals involved.

UNICEF Rights Respecting School and Child Rights Partners, at Swinton Primary School, in Glasgow, Scotland, on 4 November 2014.

Sex crimes against children are not rare. They happen worldwide, committed against children from all backgrounds and all ages, committed by people from all backgrounds and of all ages. There is no singular type of abuse, victim, or perpetrator. No child is immune. It could happen to anyone. And you don’t have to be part of the police or protective social system to help or understand, you can raise understanding and awareness by watching this series and using your voice and platform to support.

 

Here’s the link to the programme which was helped put together by some of the incredible girls:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b08r8pvh/three-girls-series-1-episode-1

 

Some statistics portraying the seriousness, vulnerability and high amounts of children affected in the UK and globally:

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/services-and-resources/research-and-resources/2016/how-safe-are-our-children-2016/

Click to access full_tex(3).pdf

 

Here’s some support, information and helplines for anyone who is affected or wants to read further:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/22VVM5LPrf3pjYdKqctmMXn/information-and-support

 

Thanks for reading,

Let me know what your thoughts are!

 

Vanisha

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