Mental health and me.

Part One

Love me when i least deserve it, because that’s when i need it the most – unknown

It’s taken me months to come to terms with my life and who I am right now, and it’s taken weeks to write this in a way that I’m okay with.

Topics, awareness and conversation about mental illness and mental health have been slowly, but more positively, making its way into our minds, out of our mouths and spreading through the veins of our society. But growing up knowing words like ‘anxiety’ and ‘depression’ didn’t always mean they were fully understood. Although it seems we are now surrounded by our friends, family, strangers and celebs all fighting daily battles with their mental health, the battle can be easily misunderstood and still feel confusing. My experience with mental health has been messy, dark, confusing and not always something I wanted to accept. And that wasn’t even my own mental health. It’s hard to understand something that hurts, and with mental health you can hurt, and other people can hurt as a cause of your hurt. Now, as I battle my own issues, I’m understanding it more than ever.

Six months ago, I was extremely happy with myself, I was acing university, following my passion, keeping fit and healthy, living independently, working hard, and I had exciting plans and hopes for my future. Everything was great. I was the best I had ever been in my life in every way possible. Until one day, I just wasn’t.

I used to think happiness and positivity and depression and negativity were like a switch that you could turn on and off. And the use of the switch would depend on how hard you wanted it and how hard you tried. With mental health, I’ve found that it’s partly true. Except the switch is one of them stupid ones that flick back on as you leave the room and you have to go back to turn it off again but it’s constant and lasts through the night and into some days and you have no control over the stupid damaged switch. Life becomes a constant battle with the switch that never used to even cross my mind before because it was never an issue and would almost always be on happy positivity mode.

Some days feel the same as six months ago. I can still fill my days with positivity and people comment on how much I smile and brighten their day. Some days I see hope for my future and am inspired by all the good in the world, and all the good left for me to make. Some days I feel happiness because I know that one day I’ll be exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I love with someone who loves me just as much as I love them. And I won’t question or doubt anything about myself or my life because everything will be good enough.

But some days it’s hard to even fake a smile. Some days I feel so far from who I even used to be, yet alone from where I hope I’ll ever be. Some days I can’t believe how much pain has been in my life and how people keep finding new ways to hurt me. Yet alone all those hurting other people, all those other people suffering. Some days I can’t imagine working with people in crisis because how can life and the people in our world be so cruel to ever put another human in that point of crisis in the first place? Some days my brain drives me crazy. I lose complete focus, worth and love for myself and the world. Nothing ever seems good enough.

I’ve read articles after blogs after websites about how to cope, what to do, what not to do and what depression and anxiety even are. There’s poetry and quotes and helplines and chatrooms. People tell you to exercise, get out the house, talk to someone, get a good night sleep. Lol. And for those who know me and follow my IG and blogs on the reg, you’ll be laughing along with me. I’ve gone from one extreme to the other. Here I am, little miss positivity, spreading sunshine and love around the world and trying to save the planet, feeling the most negative ever and trying hard not to hate everything around me.

And it’s funny when people comment how you’re coping so well, like you could never tell that I was even remotely low, like how my IG looks like life goals and how it appears I’m the same person from six months ago. Because mental illness isn’t visible through a photo unless you post a picture of yourself crying in bed with the caption ‘btw i’m depressed’. And it goes to show how you never know what battle someone might be fighting.

 

My “choose happiness” and “be a seeker of everyday magic” mantra is just not so relevant right now. Sure, if you’re having a bad day it might help. But depression doesn’t seem like a bad day because depression doesn’t seem to leave. Instead, you might have good moments in your bad day. Or your day might not be particularly awful, but there are no feelings of happiness like you knew it before.

I know things will get better. And like everything in life, this is temporary. But for now, I’m learning and finding my own ways to cope through it. I’m trying to find peace, worth and love for myself. I am healing from the pain, trauma and sadness in my life. For the first time in months, I’m starting to accept these feelings and thoughts. And that it’s normal. And that it’s okay. I’m very slowly remembering the things that make me happy and trying to remind myself who I am. And even writing this, I feel relief to be talking about it. And although I’m quite used to blogging and being honest and open with what I write about, mental illness is a new topic for me. Today I’m raising awareness about my newest fight in life; mental health.

Know that mental illness is serious and varies and has tonnes of different symptoms and effects for different lengths of time and on different scales of severity. It’s a huge problem in our society with millions of sufferers. It is always important to talk about it. Self-love and self-care are important too. And realising you’re not alone and that you can recover from this is important to remember also. If you don’t have it, you’ll know someone that has it, or you’ll soon have it, or you have had it.

 

Let’s be kinder, more understanding and more loving. A mantra that can always be applied.

Vanisha

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IG: https://www.instagram.com/vanishamay/?hl=en

Making a difference made easy.

So, as Christmas gets closer and we’re all in giving mode, I want to shed light on a super important cause and how you could do something different this year at Christmas time.  Not sure what to get your family for Christmas this year? Want to make an impact and do something positive for the world? Let me tell you all about Mision Mexico and how your effort could help…

Who are Mision Mexico?

Pamela and Alan Skuse visited Tapachula, Chiapas in 2000 to help care for 7 children. Passionate about making a difference and wanting to do more, the couple have spent the last 17 years caring for over 250 children.

Thanks to donations and dedicated people like you, Pam and Alan were able to build a home for their new family as well as their recent project in the poorer community of Puerto Chiapas; Mision Surf. Every school lesson, every pair of shoes, every bed, and every single achievement has been made possible thanks to you.

There are so many ways to get involved, and we’d love you to join to help us carry on with our Mexican mission!

“Giving is not just about making a donation. It’s about making a difference” – Kathy Calvin

So, how can you make a difference today?

1. Sponsor our teens big volcano climb!

This Christmas, our teens are climbing Central America’s 2nd largest volcano in order to raise funds for a new van which will help transport all of our children with more ease (and more seats so we’re not all sitting on each other’s laps!). This is our main Christmas fundraising event and one of our most exciting as the kids get involved themselves.

You can start the giving by clicking this link if you’re in Australia… https://misionmexico-gdg-j731n.raisely.com/volcano2017 

Or this link if you’re giving from the UK… https://mydonate.bt.com/events/volcano2017

If you are giving from Australia, you will receive a tax deductible receipt for all donations over $2. If you are giving from the UK and are a UK tax payer, you can opt into the Gift Aid scheme and increase the value of your donation by 25% – at no extra cost to you.

2. Create your own fundraiser!

Fundraising is a fantastic way to help raise large amounts of money from multiple people for a special cause like Mision Mexico. But if you’re unsure about what to do, or where to start, or how you can make your fundraiser as fun as possible, then look no further. This is all about how we can help you to help us!

Below are my fave top 10 ideas for starting your own fundraiser today!

  1. Skydive, white water raft, bungee jump – this is for all the adrenaline junkies out there! Why not go absolutely crazy and tick off your bucket list whilst raising for charity?!
  2. A cake sale. It’s simple, quick and yummy.
  3. Sponsored sports. You could run a marathon, swim the local river or even hold a trampolining event!
  4. For all of them bad habits, and one of the hardest to do in my opinion(!) – give up something you love. Like, alcohol, chocolate, smoking, biting your nails, or you could even give up your voice!
  5. Go carol singing!
  6. Hold an event at your workplace, church or in your community. We recently had an wonderful donation from Tango Embrace’s Day of the Dead Milonga event. Food, dance and a fundraiser all in one event. Amazing!
  7. You could get creative and host a ‘Come dine with me’ night, or even break a world record!
  8. Of course, the hairy ideas made it to my top ten just for comical/bravery reasons. Shave your hair off? Grow your beard out? Have a full body wax? Just throwing it out there guys…
  9. Get ya pets involved. Start dog walking, do a dog jog,
  10. Do a year of good deeds. This one was my favourite and one that I’d never heard of before. You, along with your friends and family can spend a year or as long as you like doing good deeds and sharing them! Feeding the homeless, helping the elderly, reading at the local library, there’s definitely a heap of good to do whilst raising money for something good!

3. Got a talent or skill to share? Get involved!

We accept volunteers all year round but we’re especially looking for people who have special skills or talents and wouldn’t mind sharing them in a workshop for our children. Yoga, surfing, dance, calligraphy, vetting, chefs, footballers, you name it, we want it! Our kids have an array of interests and passions, so we’d love you to come stay with us and help to explore, enhance and expand on their abilities.

 4. Follow, share and donate

Last but not least, you can always donate a one-off or monthly donation by visiting this link… and helping us raise awareness by telling your friends about us, sharing our social media and liking our posts. We heavily rely on you guys for donations, and even more so on our social media for even reaching you guys in the first place! Click this link to make a donation today… http://lovelifehope.com/donate/

See something you like? Got a different idea? Want to get involved? For further enquiries, applications and questions please message us via facebook, instagram, twitter or email at volunteer@lovelifehope.com.

Mision Mexico wouldn’t be where it is today without your suppport and donations. We’re forever grateful to all our past, present and future supporters. Let’s make this a Christmas to remember and start the new year full of love, life and hope. We can’t wait to hear from you all!

Gracias and Feliz Navidad!

Vanisha

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Instagram: @vanishamay and @misionmexico
Twitter: @misionmexico
Follow us on Facebook too! https://www.facebook.com/MisionMexicoChildren/
http://www.lovelifehope.com