Thoughts of a single gal

Young, single brunette seeking… seeking who?! Seeking anyone?! Where are you? Tick tock tick tock.

In a world where connecting with people is easier than ever via tinder, WhatsApp and every other single platform, how is the mighty question still hovering over me like a gigantic, black storm cloud … why am I still single?

It’s been a few years now since my whopper of a relationship with my school crush who I chased after for an epic amount of time (still not sure if I was borderline insane) but one day it was all worth it, and he caved and that was it. We were together for a good amount of years, went on holidays, lived together, we spent Christmases together and it was all lovely being part of a two. Being in love is a blessing, all the songs become relatable and you have this one person who thinks you make the world go round. But nothing lasts forever and I’ve since found myself being a very single girl.

And although I love my life and am so proud of everything I’ve achieved so far, I can’t help feeling like something’s missing. As some of my friends are having babies, engagements, and weddings, I’m among the other half of my friends who are single and spending Friday nights in bars or on the sofa together watching love island (!)

But conversations with my gals make me wonder what is it exactly? Why are we single?

Is it me?

I’m fiercely independent and sure of what I want from life. Why do I need to pursue someone when my life is pretty good as it is already? I pay for everything myself, do everything for myself, am I ready to share everything again? And a big part of that life I love is travelling and my ideas of a career abroad which do not work well with the ideas of a serious relationship yet alone settling down. I’m yet to bump into the man of my dreams somewhere in the world who coincidentally also has most of his life in his backpack and hopefully speaks a number of languages and is tanned and has a nice smile and not a 9-5 job in the city. Lol ok coming down from the clouds. Perhaps my expectations are too high?

Is it them?

Part of my problem could be the boys I go for. I know this seems silly and seems sensible to just not pick the wrong boys but easier said than done. At first, dating can be deceiving! There’s so many games, lies and mixed motives that when you think you’ve found a good egg, bam, he’s got a girlfriend, or he’s still in recovery from his last relationship or he doesn’t want anything serious six months in or you’re one of five girls he’s seeing or suddenly he’s just not that into you or actually, he was never right for you. Isn’t dating messy?! I see some of you, sitting there nodding your heads. You know how it is. The single life is a fun life filled with exploration and excitement but it can be bloody tough and cruel too.

But maybe there isn’t a reason. Maybe my mystery man is yet to appear (hopefully on a beach somewhere in South America this summer preferably holding a cocktail ready for me) because maybe it just hasn’t been the right time yet and life is working out absolutely wonderfully for now.

So to any worried single gal or boy reading this, and to me as I read this out in my head whilst listening to Maroon 5’s ‘she will be loved’, we’re still young. And whether you’re 16 or 62, there’s still time. One day someone will come along, and all the songs will make sense again, and this person will be so right for you and vice versa. And until then, fully embrace being single and do everything you want to do in life. Don’t wait around and do not settle. Whatever’s meant to be will come and it will all be beautiful 💭 and if not then I’ll be travelling forever and you can join me, and we’ll have to substitute my ‘crazy cat lady’ title with chow chow lady or chocolate/burger lady because cats just don’t cut it for me… such a tricky dilemma…

Thanks for reading my ramblings you guys!

Keep up with my South American adventure on my Instagram @vanishamay and in my travel blogs!

Vanisha

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